2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.
 

Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kush na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii
 

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....
 

Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche...
 

Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to you........... Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye,Ill marry you NEXT YEAR.
 

Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked: Why r u writing so slowly? Sardar: Im writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he cant read very fast.
 

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever
 

Laloo bada chalak hai
Nau baccho ka bap hai
Laloo bada nirala he
dasva ane wala he...
ye andar ki baat hai
isme Vajpayee ka hat hai..
 

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !
 

AT 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,
at 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her,
at 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her,
at 48 a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other
 

2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!
 

Once a chunti saw a dali of Gur , she went to eat it, but on the way she saw a muscular chunta,she left the gur and went to chunta,because, GUR NALO ISHQUE MITHA, oyehoy .
 

Banta Sing! u get marry with Santa after my death, Wife!, but why? He is ur no 1 enemy,Banta!, this is only way to take revenge with santa sing.
 

Girls are like roads,more the curves,more the dangerous they are.
 

k sawal...14FEB VALENTINES DAY ko log AISA KYA KARTE HAI KI THEEK 9 MAHINAY BAAD 14 NOV KO "CHILDREN DAY" MANANA PADTA HAI.
 

Tcher: How Old is ur father. Sunny: As old as I m. Tcher: How is it possible? Sunny: He bcom father only after I was born.
 

Doctor to Patient : The check which u gave me has returned back.
Patient to Doctor:The head-ache for which you gave me medicine has also returned back.
 

My wife ran away with my best friend.
To tell you the truth, I really miss him.
 

Whats the closest thing to a womans period?
Your salary.
It comes once a month,
lasts About 3 or 4 days and if it doesnt come,everythings f~cked
 

What do you call a wife who is sexy,
beautiful,intelligent,understanding,
caring, never jealous and a great cook?
ANSWER : A rumour!
 

Husband asks,Do u know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Evrytime!
WIFE on hearing this says,
it could also mean-With Idiot For Ever.
 

Early to bed and early to rise makes ur girlfriend go out with other guys.
 

A Train is bout2 crash. A frantic virgin strips off n says:
'' Can anyone make me feel like a woman b4 I die?''
So a man takes off his clothes n say,''Iron these!''
 

A woman goes 2 a dentist 4 tooth extraction
doc tells her 2 lie down and gets ready with tools
lady lifts her skirt,doc says im not a gynacologist im dentist
she says i want to get my hubbys tooth removed
 

Mother to Teenage Daughter : "I think its time that we should talk about SEX."
Daughter : "Yes Mom, What do You want to know ?".
 

what's common between the SUN & WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR?
1) both are hott
2) both look better while going down
3) both disappear by night............
 

Patient : I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor : Didn't the new glasses help?
Patient : Sure, Now i see the spots much clearer.!!
 

Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa...
Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon!!
 

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn't notice."
 

Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!
 

Man:what is million years to u?
God:only a second.
Man:what is billion of Dollar.to u?
God:only a Coin.
Man:ok give me a Coin.
God:wait a second....
 

sardar ji to his friend: Yar bari ushkil main hoon mairi bivi mujh say aik kiss ka 100 RS laiti hay ..... friend: acha, yar to bara lucky hay doosron say to wo 500RS laiti hay.
 

Husband to a newly wed Wife.I could go to the end of the worldfor u,, wife thanks, but promise me u will stay there.
 

A sardar was running with his pregnent wife,who was about to deliver, when another sardar asked him, O pernam singh, oye woti nu ais haal vitch le ke kithey puj rya vain, pernam singh replied,assi Pizza hut chaley aan, sunya aa othey free delivery hondi aaa.
 

behind every SUCCESSFUL woman, there is a SATISFIED man,but behind a SATISFIED woman there is an EXHAUSTED man...
 

A man to cardiologist, How dare u tell my wife that she has a cute Vagina, Doctor, stupid, i told her that she has acute Angina.
 

A boy and gal of 5th class asked teacher "kya chote bachoon ke bhi bache hoote
hain"? teacher nahin kabhi nahin " boy said to girl-dekha aur tu aise hi dar rahi thi".
 

Musharraf said to his mother. Ammi mari B.V , M.M.A walon sey meli hoi hai! Jab bhe kamray main jata hoon kehti hai wardi utaro.
 

75yrz old man got married with a girl of 15 yrz old. At marriage nite they both r crying cuz Girl don't know anything and an old man hav 4gotten evrythng.
 

Which Type Of Woman Is Yours?
HARD-DISK Woman:She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Woman:She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Woman:Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
EXCEL Woman:They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use for your four basic needs.
SCREENSAVER Woman:She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Woman:Difficult to access.
SERVER Woman:Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Woman:She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Woman:She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Woman:Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Woman:Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expec
 

A husband was stung by a bee on his penis and it became swollen. His wife prayed, "Oh God may you remove off the pain and leave the size as it is.
 

Maid cleaning bedroom found a used condom and kept looking at it. Madam asked dont you have sex in the village, Maid "Yes we do but not till the skin drops off.
 

who is stronger man or woman?
Anser?
A woman coz she lifts two mountain on her chest while man lifts his crane with the help of 2 stones.
 

Ques : Why do Couples hold hands on Wedding Day?
Ans : Just for Formality, like 2 Boxers shaking hands before Fight!!
 

Girls Hostel ki light chali gayi.
Ek ladki ne electric office me phone karke kaha:
Light chali gayi hai, aadmi bhejo.
Replied "Aadmi nahi hai, mombatti se kaam chala lo."
 

chota sardar:mummy kal raat ko,phir maine bathroom ka darvaja khola toh light apne aap jal gaye.mummy:kaminey phir tune fridge main susu ki!
 

Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was a huge rush, the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved
 

Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas.So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji..could you tell methe time difference between Patna and Las Begas...". . The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you"and puts the phone down
 

At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender ,"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS,SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Lalooreplies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED
 

After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modeling. Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION !! "Laloo, third from left!"
 

Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we willturn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very surprised."You Japanese are very inefficient" he stated. "Give me three days and Iwill turn Japan into the next Bihar!"
 

A Wife is sleeping in the middle of the night, she suddenly shouts: "Get up quickly my hasband is here!!!"
the man gets up from the bed, jumps out the window, hurts himslef and then realizes "Damn, I am the hasband!!!"
Who's guilty in the situation?????????????
 

Best SMS of the year- a Mother makes her son "INTELLIGENT" in 20 Years, but a girl makes him STUPID in 2 minutes.
 

A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams,whichthe father receives as:"father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
 

in chemistry class teacher asked a girl:what r Nitrates?Girl answered shyly:nights rates r high then day ..!
 

Q-Why is reading a Playboy/Playgirl magazine like reading National Geographic?
A-U get 2 see many great places u dont get 2 visit
 

Judge-y did u attack tat young man?
Old lady- he grabbed me, took my clothes off, threw me on d bed & shouted APRIL FOOL!
 

A girl & her grandma were sitting in the balcony. Girl shouted to her mother[who was inside]"mom, Tom cruise is coming"
Mother:"you come inside"
Few minutes later Girl shouted, "mom, Clinton is coming"
Mother:"Ask your Grandma also to come inside"
 

PATENT:- DOCTOR SAABH MUJHE BAHUT PATLE DAST AA RAHE HAI
DOCTOR:- KITNE PATLE
PATENT:- DOCTOR SAABH BAHUT PATLE
DOCTOR:- KITNE PATLE
PATENT:- SAABH ITNE PATLE KI SMS PADNE VALLA KULLA KAR LE
 

Man: sir i m married, i had 10 childs, plz tell me my favorite stone, favorite star, & favorite number, Astropamist: Oh. No. ab ap ka guzara SABAZ SITARA sey hi ho ga......
 

eight man r raping a woman ..the woman is laughing nonstop ..so after the men get bugged n ask her y she laughing ..she replies " mujhe AIDS hai "*******
 

One is looking very upset by thinking that.......
"HOW HIS SISTER HAS 2 BRITHERS AND HE HAS ONLY ONE"
 

Two ladies were working in a furniture shop,one for ELLERINES and other one was working for WONDER furniture shop they use to take the same bus at same stop at the same time. So other day they were waiting until late and the lady thats works for WONDER said "I WONDER WHY THIS BUS IS LATE" and the other lady didnt want to be left out she said "I ELLERINES WHATS WRONG?
 

A womman was bragging to her neighbour about her son, a university student. "Our son is so brilliant, every time we get a letter from him we have tio go to the dictionary," said a proud mom. "You are lucky, "the neighbour said. "Every time we get a letter from ours, we have to go to the bank!"
 

a kid says to teacher:techer meri ammi ko bacha hojaye ga.
teacher says: yes
kid:meri anty ko bacha ho jayega.
teacher yes.
kid: teacher aap ko bacha ho jaye ga.
teacher yes.
kid: teacher is munni ko bacha ho jaye ga.
teacher no beta ye abhi bohat choti hay.
kid : dekha munni men ne kaha tha na kuch nahi hoga
 

Can U name FIVE Great KINGS who have brought HAPPINESS into PEOPLES LIVES??
ANSWER: "drin-KING, smo-KING, lic-KING, suc-KING & ofcourse fucKING
 

question:NISAR kaise paida hua ????
answer:jawani janeman haseen dilruba mil do dil jawan NISAR hogaya
 

Two snakes meet each other..
First snake:I hope I am not poisonous.
Second snake:Why?
First snake:Because I bit my lip!
 

Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch kehna chahte ho?
Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hain
 

A mother bought her son a $39 Halloween costume to scare his friends "Should I take the price tag off?", the boy asked. "Leave it on," his mother replied. "We'll scare your father too
 

Son:Papa,Sab log Shadi Karke Pareshan hain,To Shadi Kyo Karte Hain.?Papa:Beta,Akal Badaam Khane se nahi,Thokar Khake Ati He
 

A young man asked a priest.........
Father!Is it a sin to sleep with a girl?....
Priest!N my child....But problem is that u guys never SLEEP....
 

a man gave his testes to boy to play.they threw moni on him he pressurisd them and man dead
 

i want to fuck u from day to late night so that u get pragnant.and i will kill ur child so that i got lot of money from insurance policy of ur child
 

1986 ke girl; Mama jeans pehen lon
Mom;Na baiti log kiya kahen gay.
2006 ke girl;Mama mini skirt pehen lon
Mom; pehen baiti kuch to pehen.............
 

girls are like an internet virus, they enter ur life, scan ur poket , transfer ur money, edit ur mind, download their problems delete ur smiles and hang u for ever
 

How Do U Tell To UR Girlfriend If U Want 2 go 2 Toilet During Dinner? Darling,I've 2 Shake Hands with a Close friend of MIne Whom I'm Going 2 introduce 2 u Later.
 

Sadham meets kajol n asks her " how is ur life ?" , kajol says " Kabie khushi kabie gham!" n kajol asks Sadham " how about u? " n he says " kabie BUSH kabie BOMB"!!!!!!!
 

teacher teaching algebra to student
A=B=C
it means A=C
sir asked 2 giv exampl 4 it
student:sir i luv u, u luv ur daughter,it means i luv ur daughter
 

NEWTONS LAW OF LOVE:- LOVE CAN NEITHER B CREATED NOR DESTROYD BUT IT CAN ONLY B CHNGD FRM ONE GRL TO ANTHR WID D LOSS OF MONEY
 

A MAN PUT A LAMP ON HIS WIFE HEAD AND SAID TO HER IF YOU LIED THESE LAMP WILL TURN ON DO YOU UNDERSTAND ????? SHE SAID YES ....
THE LAMP TURNED ON !!!!
 

What a bad day 4 elisa! her mom & dad went out 2 a church so she decided 2 invite her boyfriend Dipopo 2 come with his friend Khali bcoz she's left alone @ home.The 2 arrived in time, her parents came back unexpectedly 4rom Church @ she told Dipopo 2 hide under the bed & khali ot top of the wadrop@ her bedroom, both of them went 2 her bedroom. Her dad asked how was her day? & she said,"mmmmm,,,, fine" & her Mom said,"The 1 who is on top knows everythin(refering 2 God with a finger)" emmidiatly Khali had that, he jumped down from the wadrop & said, the 1 who knows everything is the 1 under the bed(Dipopo)............
 

Ek aadmi Ki Biwi Gum Ho gaiee. Who Ramji ke Mandir gaya. Ramji ne kaha, Wats baaju mein Viraajmaan Hanuman se Prarthana kar, meri bhi unho ne dhoondhi thi.
 

One night, Mooch was making love for the first time after the wedding. She saw it all on TV but the husband was like, "Man, you cry lke the virgin but you know how to give it all to me, in all angles to fuck it"
 

Why are Egyptian's Children always confused??
Coz after death, their DADDY becomes the MUMMY.
 

Romance Mathematics
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
 

what is the diffrent between
Himami & Sunami?
Himami is face wash,
Sunami is total wash.
 

A job in Railways.
Salary 15000/-,
job profile:-When the
headlight of the Engine
is not working you
have to run infront of
the train with a torch,
So hurry up...
wish u all the best.
 

What if goctors
started directing
movies?
Here are eg:
1.stethoscopukal
katha parayunnu.
2.Oru ECG diary
kuruppu..
3.Meerayude CT yum
muthuvinte X-Rayum
4.Vasanthiyum aidsum
pinne nhanum
5.Ayal BP
edukkugayanu.
6.MBBS penninu MD
payyan
7.Sister marude
shradhayku.
8.Neru ariyan MRI
9.Syringe Madhavan.
10.BDS MOOSA
11.Compounder raman.
12.Meenathil surgery.
13.Parakum gulika.
14.Sister vannu
vilichappol.(A)
15.The
mortuary.(horror)
 

TEACHER :Name the animal which live in water & land
STUDENT :Simple 'Frog'
TEACHER :Now name such 4 animal
STUDENT :Simple "Frog's mother,Frog's father,Frog's sister".:
 

BREAKING NEWS..~Bazar-e-Hussun MeinAag lag gayee, Raat gaye Fire Brigade Ka
ammlay ne Aag per qabooo pa liya,Magar ammlay per qabooo abhi tak nahi paya ja
 

Naukarani: malkan ap udaas kyun hai
Malkan: tumhare sahab office ki kisi larki se payyar karte hai
Naukarani: nahiiiiin, sahab mujhe dokha nahi de sakte.
 

Man ask God " God Y U make women so BEAUTIFUL? God so that u can LUV her.
Men but Y u make her so STUPID? God says so that she can LUV U.......
 

A priest saw a girl removing her blouse. The priest prayed: God, please close my eyes. When he opened his eyes, the girl was naked This time he prayed God please close your eyes.
 

A convicted rapist was sentenced to a death penalty.he was 2 choose between being hanged or being injected with a seringe with HIV/AIDS blood.he choose to be injected with AIDS, after they have finished with him he never stoped laughing and they asked why r u laughing he just wispered and say i have put on a condom.
 

Why women love gold more than men? Because gold has 24 carrot whereas man has only one carrot.
 

What is the difference between secretary & private secretary? Ans: secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR & private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR.
 

Difference b/w panties of 1970 & 2000 :- In the 70's you had to pull down panties to see the buttocks,In 2000, you have to seperate the buttocks to see the panties.
 

Mother to her tennage daughter:
I think it's time that we should talk abt sex..
Daughter: Sure Mom!!, What u want to know?..
 

Patient: Doctor aap ko yakeen hai ke mujhay Namoonia (pneumonia) hai, kyun ke pichlay dino aik doctor meri friend ka Namoonia ka ilaaj karta raha aur woh Typhoid say mar gayi.
Munna: Haan ray meray ko pakka yaqeen hai, tu namoonia say hi maray ga.
 

Munna: Bolay to darad kahan hai aapko.
Patient(F): Pooray badan mien hai
Munna: Yeh kaisay ho sakta hai ray, kuch detail batao.
Patient: Tocuhes her right knee and says here, then touches her earlobe and says here, then touches her
left cheek and says here, etc.
Munna: Aesay hi khaali peeli tension de reli hai, teri finger mien dard hai.
 

Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula ke laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai.
 

A guy donated blood to his girlfriend. After a while they broke up and he wanted it back. The girl threw a pad at him and said. i'll pay u back in monthly instalments.
 

class me teacher lacture de raha tha, bachon ne dekha us ki zip khuli hui hai, bachay hansne lagay,
Teacher: kyun hans rahe ho, ab agar hansay ko bahir nikaal ke khara ker dunga.
 

A 90 yr old man started making love with his 85 yr wife, he started sucking her breats and after few seconds the man expired, GUESS WHY?
Autoposy Report : death due to expired milk.
 

Gal: Is dress ka kya price hai?
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss.
Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.
Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi.
 

A Chinese man took his pregnant wife to the hospital tp deliver...
The wife however gave birth to a black baby. The Chinese man who was shocked named him: SOME TIN WONG....
 

A story with moral
My girlfriend called me to her house one day. I went there & found her sister alone in the house. She was unbelievably sexythan my GF. She whispered in my ear, "I have feelings for you, make love to me once" I turned around & walked to thefront door towards my car. Amazingly I found my GF standing there & she hugged me & said, "U have won my trust."
Moral:
Its always better to keep the CuNDuMS in the car & not in the wallet!!
 

Last nite i had a dream abt U...
I saw tht v both were gettig married on the same day...
Ur wife was beautiful but mine is not...
I asked GOD:
Why it is so???
GOD replied:
"BALANCE OF NATURE"...!!!
 

Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey
 

A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: Yes, I saw dad.
 

An old to Doc: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.
Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down.
 

Bahu: Maan ji, yeh abhi tak nahin aaye, kahin kisi dusri ladki ke saath...
Saas: Arey kalmuhi, tu hamesha ulta kyun sochti hai? Aisa bhi to ho sakta hai ki kisi truck ke neeche aa gaya
 

Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.
 

People who do lots of work.make lots of mistakes,
People who do less work.make less mistakes,
People who do no work.make no mistakes,
People who make no mistakes.get promoted.
 

. U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...!
 

. Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal
 

A little girl to her mother: "Mom! i have come to know the boy next door have a pennes like a peanut"
Mom: " Do you mean its little"
girl: " No Mom! Its salty."
 

A man forgot to zip up.So a lady tells him:U LEFT yr GARAGE open.Man asks:DID U C MY BLACK MERC parked INSIDE?No,she said JUST A MINI COOPER with a FLAT TIRE
 

aik din aik larke na apne mummy ko dekha aur kehne laga dekho mummu aik hath chor kar cycle chala raha hooon thodi daar ke bad wo dubara wahan se guzra aur kehna laga dekho mummy main do hath choor kar cycle chala raha hoon thode daar ke baad wo dobara wahan se guzra aur kehne laga dekho mummy main do dantoon ke baghar cycle chala raha hoon
 

wife - suniye kya aap kitchen se garam masala la kar aayenge
husband - magar yahan to nahin hai
wife-- mujha pata tha tumha nahin mila ge is liya main pehla se la aaye baghwan !!!!!!!!
 

costomer- whose eggs is this
shopkeeper - its mine
costomer - ok so give me one dozen of chicken s eggs
 

BREAKING NEWS:Nawab Akbar Bugtii Alive.
He escaped from the back door of his cave
On his Honda CD 70
& was Shouting,
"MAIN TAY HONDA ee LAYSAAN"!
 

Teacher:Oxygen is must for Breathing . It was discovered in 1773.
Sardar:Thank God I was born after that .
Pehla Paida hota to mar hi jata .
 

The world thineest book has only one word written in it"EVERYTHING" and the bok is tittled by "WHAT WOMAN WANT "
 

GIRLS 1970: Jia beqraar hai aai bahar hai, aa ja moray baalma taira intzar hai
GIRLS 2006: Jia beqraar hai aai bahar hai, aa ja moray baalma WERNA DOSRA TIYAR HAI....
 

eik aadmi aadi raat ko apni moti biwi say yeh sisak sisak k marna theak hai ya eik dum.(BIWI)eik dum.(AaDMI)to apni dusri tang b mujh per rakh do.
 

The short man was chased by 2 policeman coz he usually steal "FRENCH POLONY", he ran to his home and hide into a babywalker.They knew that he he was there so checked the place until they give up.On teir way to the door they saw this baby in a babywaker the went to him and say"he is so cute, if we come back we will bring sweets,cakes and cold drink" he said with an adult voice "Dont forget to bring my favourite frnch polony".......
 

Years ago i came in2 dis world naked & screaming
My goodness, now things have changed when im naked somebody else does the screaming.
 

Home : A place where you can scratch where it itches.
Doctor : A person who cures the ills by pills,
and kills by his bills.
LOVE : Loss Of Valuable Energy
WIFE : Worries Invited For Ever
 

Common Dialoug om exams & 1st wedding night-
"Kaisa Hua"??
"Acha Hua, thoda bada tha, thoda chooth gaya, aata tha per thik se hua nahi!!
 

Boy 2 girl - kya tum mere sath dance karogi.
Girl reply - me bacche ke sath dance nahi karti.
Boy - Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho.
 

Russians dugg 100
meters and found
copper cable and said
that they had
telephones 500 years ago
Americans dugg 200
meters and found
optical fibre and said
they had internet
facility 1000 years ago.
indians dugg 1000
meters and didnt find
anything and said that
we had wireless
technology 2000 years ago
 

Aap main Aur Malaika sherawat main kiya fark hey?
color? no. Pesa? no. daish? no. phir kiya hey. janab woh utne kapre ka kastoom bana leti he jitna aap naak saf karne k liye istamal karte ho.
 

When i Die , bury me deep
Ten feet down fast as leep
Place my Maths book on my head
Tell my teacher that i am dead
place my geography book on my chest
Tell my teacher how i am at rest
Place my physics in my right hand
Tell my teacher nothing i understand
place my english book on my left
Tell my teacher i tried my best
Also tell my teachers not to cry
For they are those who made me die.
 

bhagwaan sabse zyada khush kab hota hay
us waqt jab kisi ladki ki izzat lutt
rahi ho or woh chilla rahi hoo
bhagwan ke liye mujhe chordo
 

fyuefuejjfhjshuidyiejkcxjehkefhdk
samajh aaya nahi na
mujhe bhi samajh nahi aaya
 

Bob calls in to his job:
"Hey, boss I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt, so I'm not coming into work."
The boss says:
"You know Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that."
2 hours later Bob calls:
"Boss, I did what you said, and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you got nice house."
 

Indian mathematicians meeting held at New Delhi yesterday - they
have decided to change the name of zero. The new name will be GANGULY.
 

little kid asks: mommy don't u have the colgate of aquafresh.
 

a young boy was arrested for murder, his father went to visit him in prison.he told him that their is densely grass around the house and u c that i am old enough, 2 dig those grass. u were the 1 who must dig those grass.boy replied pls don`t ever dig those grass bcoz i hide many guns there. his dad tell the police about it, the police went there and dig all over but they finds nothing. dad went back to his son he said police have dug those grass but they did`nt anything. boy replied i was trying to assist u.
 

Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
 

Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the Field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies First.